Who’s having the worst NCAA Tournament…so far? First two rounds edition

In a tournament that has had one of the most memorable first weekends in NCAA Tournament history, including #16 seed UMBC’s unforgettable victory over #1 seed Virginia, not all has been hunky dory for all participants. Here is who’s having the worst NCAA Tournament…so far.

The Best of the Worst

The Pac-12

The Pac-12 started off the tourney on the wrong foot with the glaring omission of USC. Then UCLA & Arizona St were two of the last teams in, as they were in the First Four games. When they were quickly dispatched by St. Bonaventure & Syracuse, respectively, all Pac-12 hope rested on the shoulders of Arizona. No matter. They were a solid team, led by freshman phenom DeAndre Ayton. They were actually a sneaky dark horse pick to win it all. They’d just need to get this easy win against Buffalo under their belts…uhhhh, what just happened? Unbelievable. Before the tournament started, if someone would’ve bet us $100,000 that Arizona would lose in the first round, we would’ve…actually, that is a horrible analogy. Moving on.

“Mr. March”
Tom Izzo

There was a time that March was considered Tom Izzo’s time to shine. Legend had it that he could take 5 guys off the street and make a run at the Final Four. Those days appear to be over. Despite Sparty continuously getting the top recruits in the nation, they seem to be under-performing. The last 3 years Michigan St hasn’t made it out of the 2nd round. Throw in the off the court stuff, and that’s why you get the questions after the game to Izzo if it’s his last game or not. That greenish hue you see isn’t Sparty’s colors. It’s the color of  Michigan St fans feeling a bit queasy when looking toward the uncertain future.

Charles Barkley’s Bracket

Listen, with all of the upsets, none of us had a good bracket. In fact, we actually had Illinois as our dark horse to make the Final Four. However, they went 14-18 this year and didn’t even make the Tournament. So we were sort of doomed from the start. Yet, we aren’t paid millions of dollars by CBS for our award-winning* coverage like Charles is. Not to mention, we didn’t have to air our “Fighting Illini in the Final Four” bracket on national television. But truth be told, Charles is keeping third shift fully staffed at the Sharpie factory with that debacle.

CBS Censors

Suffice it to say, the CBS censors have seen better days. They did their best Flash from Zootopia impression during Nevada’s locker room victory celebration. It was obvious that they did NOT have their heads on a swivel, and Wolfpack head coach Eric Musselman made them pay:

Obviously, the CBS scout team at the Censor Combine did not do their due diligence when it comes to scouting. They ignored the *bleep* 40-times & the 3-cone *bleep* drill. You have to be ready at all times! Have to have your hand on that bleeper! You can’t let a winning coach prance in like he’s the cock of the walk and paint your broadcast with a bunch of f-bombs. You have to have a quicker trigger finger. Just an all-around poor performance by the CBS *bleep* gang.

And don’t get us started on the lack of pixilation during Mussleman’s shirtless celebration in Nevada’s other locker room celebration. So we stepped in where the CBS censors fell down on the job yet again.


It would be easy to say that Virginia is having the worst NCAA Tournament…so far. After all, they were the first ever #1 seed to lose in the first round, as they lost to #16 seed UMBC. Being the first team to pull off a negative feat in 136 chances will do that to you. And while their loss will live forever in the annals of history, they did take the loss with grace and aplomb. Not to mention, no one has ever taken a tough loss with more handsome class than Cavaliers’ head coach Tony Bennett: